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(via qbug)

mybelovedcheshire:

#his own name is his pickup line

(via goingtopieces)

• friend: sorry, I can't hang out anymore
• me: but I showered for you

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dusted-with-hate:

I want this owl <3

Dramatic Owl is cooler than Dramatic Chipmunk.

(via lovebeautyscience)

• (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
• Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
• (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
• Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
• Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
• Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
• Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
• (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
• Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

She is so perfect!

My Blog Looks Nice

Remember when she was your best friend and didn’t avoid you?

(via omg-theykilledrory)